Because the Night
by hiseask17
Summary: "I thought you were mature enough for this, but I can see I was wrong. I'm done." A one-shot set after Last Sacrifice.


"_I can't believe you would do this!" Dimitri pulled his hair away from his face in a gesture of resignation and looked up at me as if he would see the answer. _

"_I… I…" _

"_Don't say anything. I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it." The glint of hope left his eyes and I saw him holding back his anger._

"_But it was a mistake!" _

"_It might have been, but why would you even consider such an idea? I thought we were happy, but apparently not."_

"_It's not like I planned it, I was _drunk_ and I felt alone and he was there, it just happened."_

"_But _why_? Have I done something wrong, or is it just that it's in your nature to cheat? We both know what happened with Adrian." That wasn't fair and he knew it._

"_How can you say that? It was _with you_ and you tell me it was wrong?"_

"_You can't deny you cheated now." _

"_No, but…" I didn't know what to say to make him see reason. I knew I had done wrong that night, but I was sorry and I regretted it with my entire being, what more could I do?_

"_All these 'buts'. I thought you were mature enough to stand for your actions and not run away. I thought you were mature enough for a relationship, but I can see I was wrong. I'm done."_

"_Please, let me-" As he stalked over to the door and grabbed his duster I saw my future falling down a cliff and disappearing. I saw the love of my life giving up on me. What had I done?_

"_Goodbye, Rose." _

With that I woke up, sweating and on the verge of tears. What had happened? _Why_ would I cheat on Dimitri?

I turned around the bed to see if Dimitri was there. He wasn't. I felt the tears as the nudged to get out. Had the dream been reality? I had cheated? It didn't seem like something I would do, but who knows. Maybe a few nights without talking with him and some alcohol would cause me to do something so stupid. I knew I was impulsive, but not to that point. My insides turned at the thought of my own idiocy and then at the thought of Dimitri hating me. The tears filled over and flooded down my cheeks while I hulked and sobbed, hugging my pillow desperately.

Then I heard someone shuffle on my left. I sat up quickly and looked around the room, I was in the dorm in Lehigh and Lissa was sleeping soundly a few metres from me. No wonder Dimitri wasn't here. I checked the time on my phone, it was the middle of the night.

The tears still rolled down my cheeks and I felt like shit, so I let my arms encircle my knees and hugged them to my chest. It did nothing but make me feel claustrophobic. It was always helped in movies.

After calming down the tears and thinking a little, I decided to call Dimitri. I took a deep breath and relaxed my body as much as I could, then I hit speed dial.

The seconds it took to connect must have the longest in my life. Inside I was raging with anxiety and the fingers on my left hand drummed impatiently on my knee.

Then it went directly to voicemail. I disconnected and let the phone drop down on the sheets. All the different reasons as to why he wouldn't answer flew through my mind, but there was only one I understood. He ignored me.

The thought made tears well up again, but I blinked them back and cursed inwardly. Dammit, woman, bring your shit together. It's nothing, he's just busy. But part of me still didn't believe it.

I swiped my tears and rose from the bed, maybe a shower would make me feel better. I grabbed my bag with toiletries and a towel and stuck my head out to alert Guardian Chambers of my shower. He took a look at me and nodded, saying that I could take as long as I needed and he would check in on Lissa. I knew I looked like shit, so I just shot him a thankful smile and went back in to shower. Though I grabbed my phone before disappearing into the bathroom, just in case.

I locked the door behind me and took a look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffed and my hair would have been easily mistaken for a bird's nest. There was even some snot under my nose. I dried it away quickly and took a deep breath. _Take a shower and you will feel better._ I threw my pyjamas on the floor and was just about to step into the steamy shower when the phone rang. I looked at the screen. It was Dimitri.

I hurried to pick up the phone and clear my throat but before I could press the green icon, I thought of something. What should I say? I didn't think it would be very successful to start rambling about cheating while - most likely - sobbing like my puppy had died. Even Dimitri, who tend to be very patient and to actually think before he does things, could misinterpret that.

And considering I had called in the middle of the night on my schedule, he probably thought Lissa was either kidnapped or abducted by aliens. So it would be a good idea to think through what I was going to say.

I once again cleared my throat, pressed the green icon on my screen and then lifted my phone to my ear.

"Hi."

"Rose, are you okay? What happened?" Hearing his voice was like opening the door to the room in my brain called 'Do not ever open'. Every single detail from the dream came back. What we had said and how he had reacted, I felt the tears return. Before I could help it, a sob escaped and I knew every chance of remaining calm was gone. His concern for me made every tear channel open up and suddenly I was sobbing hysterically. "What's wrong? Roza?"

"I-I-I…" I took a deep breath and leaned against the sink, trying to steady my voice. "I had a dream. About us." Then I started crying again at the thought of re-telling the dream to Dimitri. "It-it-it…"

"Shh… Roza. Breathe and calm down."

It is interesting really, how one person's voice could affect me so much. It filled me with both love and assurance. If he had told me to strip naked and run through the corridors I would probably have done it. Thinking about it, Dimitri would never do that, but you get my meaning.

Now my body automatically did as he said and focused on breathing. I felt myself calm more and more and as I sank down against the bathroom wall, I heard shuffling through the speaker.

"Did I interrupt something? Before, I mean? You didn't answer so I thought maybe you were in a meeting." As I calmed, I decided that maybe not saying anything about the dream would be better. It wouldn't cause weird trust issues between us if he didn't know about it.

"No, I was in the shower and the phone was on vibrate so I didn't hear it when you rang."

"Okay, I was afraid you ignored me." I saw my inner self face-palming and cursed myself for not being able to keep my plan for even a minute.

"Why would I? Have I done something?"

"No, of course not. The dream just spooked me a bit. But it's nothing to worry about." Knowing Dimitri, he wouldn't fall for it, but it was worth a try.

"Rose, if you called me in the middle of the night and went into hysterics as soon as I called you back, I think we should talk about it."

"I'd rather not. It's a bit embarrassing. You don't want to hear it. I'll let you sleep and we'll call each other tomorrow and this dream will be forgotten." I know, I'm childish, but seriously. The more I thought about it, the idea of telling him seemed worse and worse, I did not want him to think I dreamed of cheating. And telling him that the idea of us breaking up made me cry my eyes out… It would scare away some guys and though Dimitri most likely was not one of them, you never know. We had only been together for a few months.

Dimitri's voice stopped me from further thoughts.

"Roza…"

That one word made me change my mind. The way he said it, with all those emotions, my brain couldn't take it. There was love and a small bit of resignation, but mostly just accusation. Had I been with him, I am a hundred percent sure he would have the same face as dogs who are waiting for food. I took a deep breath, for what felt as the umpteenth time this night.

"I dreamed that we had a fight because I cheated on you on a party when I was drunk. Then you broke up with me. When I woke up and you weren't there I thought it was real and I freaked out." I rushed it out so I'm not sure if he got all of what I said, but there was a startled silence on the other end of the line, so he got something.

I was so surprised with the fact that I had said it that I kept silent.

After an uncomfortable amount of time, Dimitri finally said something. That something was the same thing he had said before. "Roza…" Only this time, the emotions were different. There was something I thought was sadness, but there was suspicion too. It made me feel like I needed to explain myself, though I didn't really know what it meant.

"I didn't do it in real life, if you think that. I just dreamt it and I don't know why. It's not like I want to cheat." He didn't say anything. "Dimitri? Please say something." It scared me that he didn't say anything. Normally he wouldn't stay silent so long before answering.

"I'm sorry," he cleared his throat. "I just needed to process."

"Oh, I understand that. I just want you to know I'd never cheat on you. I've never considered it and I never will. I love you. You can check with Lissa or the other Guardians if you don't believe me." I knew I sounded desperate, but I somehow knew Dimitri would understand.

"I know you didn't, I love you too."

"Maybe we shouldn't read too much into this dream, at least not now. I don't think it will help." I heard him take a deep breath and I dreaded what he would say. I cursed myself for calling him in the first place. If I had never done it we wouldn't be here now and we could have talked about it somewhere else, face to face. I didn't like not seeing how he reacted, not being able to read his actions and be near him.

"You're right. It won't help if we get ourselves worked up about this now." I let out a breath I didn't know I had held. "We can talk about this the next time we see each other."

"That's a good idea." Once again silence fell between us, but this time it didn't feel wrong. It was a silence of agreement and I knew we were good. Not that we had been bad before, it had just felt strained for a short time. But there was something I felt like I needed to say.

"You should now I didn't call to confess anything. I just needed confirmation that you weren't angry with me since I thought the dream was real."

"I understand."

"Thank you. You're amazing, you know that, right? I love you so much."

" love you too. But you need to sleep."

"I know, you do too. I'm sorry I called this late."

"I don't mind, I'll call you tomorrow. I love you, Roza."

"I love you too, Dimitri. Bye." I waited until he disconnected and then I looked at the phone. We had talked for shorter than I thought.

As I felt much better now, I didn't shower, but instead returned to the bedroom. I peeked out the door to tell Chambers I was back and he smiled at me, probably seeing the change in my emotions. I smiled back before I turned around and closed the door.

Lissa was still sleeping soundly in her bed, her sleeping mask sitting a bit askew, so it didn't seem like I had disturbed her. I crawled back into bed and turned off the bedside lamp.

The conversation with Dimitri had calmed me so much, even though some of the bad feelings still lingered in the back of my mind. It felt like I would sleep without nightmares.

I did.

**A/N: This was a little bit inspired by the Glee episode 'The Break-up'. I've been working on it for more than a month now, so I hope there aren't any big mistakes. **

**Please leave a review with your thoughts. Thank you so much for reading! :D**


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